A renowned marriage counsellor, Apostle James Kofi Abbrey has urged marriage counsellors to do intensive pre-marital counselling and education to reduce the rise of Christian divorces in the country.
According to Divorce Statistics, the divorce rate for first marriages is between 41 to 50 percent; second marriages have a divorce rate of 60 percent to 67 percent; and for third marriages, the divorce rate is between 73 to 74 percent.
In view of the statistics, Apostle Abbrey noted that when there is proper pre-marital counselling and education, the divorce rates could come down irrespective of whether couples are from the same church or ethic group because they would get to understand each other as well as know themselves better.
The counsellor in an interview with GPCC NEWS pointed out that, when the partners know the gap each individual would create in each other’s life in the event of a divorce, they would be prepared for any unforeseen circumstances.
According to Apostle Abbrey who is the Head Pastor of Divine Bible Builders Church, counselling sessions help couples understand the importance of listening to each other, discussing issues without arguing and not taking each other for granted.
Challenges in Marriages
Apostle Abbrey noted that, when an individual gets to the maturity stage and ready to marry, ”the person should understand him or herself, understand the person you are going to marry, and ready to accommodate the person’s weakness because you all have your own ideology and secrecy so it is important to sync together.”
He note that pre-marital counselling should deal with issues like communication, conflict resolution and proper habit training among many others so that couples would be well informed to handle the issues that confront them in a relationship.
Stressing on the perception of tribe in marriage, Apostle Abbrey noted that, “marriage is not about tribe but the person and his or her upbringing, the family of origin or where the person is coming from and how emotionally stable you are, are the key things one should consider before taking a decision to marry the person.”
The counsellor pointed out that, many youth claim they are yet not married because they are searching for the right person and quizzed, “are you also the right person?”
He indicated that, everyone is looking for the right person “you are looking for a beautiful woman but do you have what it takes to keep the beautiful woman?”
“You are looking for the right person, but are the right person the person you are looking for is looking for,” Apostle Abbrey quizzed.
The marriage Counsellor stressed that it is not about an individual seeking for the right person but be the right person the person is also seeking for.
Advice to the Youth
Advising the youth, he said, they should learn from the fathers and should not repeat the mistakes of the fathers.
According to him, fathers are there for children to stand on their shoulders and see beyond.
“I always tell my children not to just take in my steps but take a double click in my step, over take me and do more than I have ever done,” he said.
Opportunities and privileges, Apostle Abbrey said abound and urged the youth to take advantage of it for a better future.
SOURCE: GPCC NEWS